I find my self screaming to the sky...

I drop to my knees almost lifeless. My fist tighten as I pound the ground with all the strength in me. I look up to the sky scream out a devastating scream. Here in this grave yard, I find all the emotional anguish tearing at my body. I let myself be engulfed by this self medicated misery. Its been two years and I still find myself here at your grave. Screaming to the sky, "WHYYYYYYYYYYYY?" But he never answer me. My thought of anger, deceit and sadness swell up in my body. Gripping at my soul like a destructive force of nature. I prayed I swear I did. I was a good person I know I was. I asked for you to be saved and take me as my only request. Yet here I am. Alone. There had to be way. I know your up there hating what I have become, but where do I go when my life was, is you... I still wake up with tears already crawling down my face because in my dreams I find the solitude of happiness I will never have with you when I awake. Your side of the bed still sit as it did the day you left. My answers may never be answered and my pain may never leave til I die, but my love will last forever and when I leave this world your legacy will be carried on with in our child. Good night my love, my heart, my wife....my...reas..on..to..bre..athe... I kiss the grass that you now sleep beneath and begin my slow walk back to my new life without you...