Rebuild Your World

My days have found themselves thinking about you. Your smile has caught me off guard. We share stories on the phone and I find myself happy that you have joined me on this journey called life. You tell me of past days, I tell you of past nights and we become closer with every new word brought into our world. You have this knack for surprising me and I have a knack for kissing you. As our world is being rebuilt we watch as the new sun has brought new life to a city left to its own self destruction.

Let this be notice to all that life will be an unpredictable devastating kiss that can destroy but you can always rebuild your world. I know the pain may remain but it won't hurt as much. Life is ever changing but when you need it you will have the right person there at the right time.

Kodak Moments

There are moments in life that I stopped and freeze framed things in my mind to always remember the memory.

I lay here with you sleeping on my chest. You look so peaceful in your dreams. Here I lay loving this moment. I say a prayer thank God for this blessing this moment for me to live. I thank you for these are the moments a man is meant to live and cherish. You breathe lightly on me and I realize that I have never known love as I do with you. I want this to be the way I live forever. You and me.

In the Background the band plays, the crowd is as live as they can be singing, laughing and screaming at the top of their lungs! I stand there behind you watching you sing with the biggest smile on your face. You heart is cheering with joy of uncontrollable emotion! Your jumping up and down the expressing every bit of the songs played. I am there right with you knowing that this is a moment I will never forget with you.

I lay there and for the first time I feel you lay upon my chest. You look up at me and I am taken back by the beauty that I have found. Our lips finally meet and here on this day I felt the fire rise in me. We have waited for this moment for what seemed like years. I have never been so surprised by a woman as I was when we were finally together. You were even more stunning and amazing then I would have ever thought. Though I had to leave know that I truly could have stayed there with a complete smile in my heart.

Your Name Still Brings a Smile to My Face

I thought it would be another day woke up, brushed my teeth, took a shower, got ready for the day and headed out to the world. I was waiting for my coffee and there outside I saw you walk by. Your smile still an amazing gift to the world. You hit my heart like your kiss to my lips a true butterfly effect. My legs feeling light as I took my coffee walked outside and felt the urge to find you. Your name still rang true in my heart the only woman I have ever loved and your name still brought a smile to my face. My life may never be better then it was but I have managed. You moved on in a path I'm sure I would have love to follow but alas I had to walk this one. I decided that maybe it was better if you lived your life without such a destructive force as me. So I took my coffee and walked in the opposite direction and even though this is the path I chose I still hoped you would come back...to..me.....

I will take your pain

I sit here in the chair across from your bed watching over you as you endure such pain. Your bones ache and your body has succumb to this tragedy. The worst part is your heart has received the worst blow. I can see the tears your soul cries and my heavy heart can't take it. So I kneel down by your bed side and pray. "Dear Lord, today another one of your angels on earth is hurting. I ask only this that you may allow me to carry their sorrows as my own because she is not meant to carry such a load. My heart can take the atrocities that she holds within her... Amen." As I take your hand in mine, I slowly kiss it. I will take your pain for you. Your heart deserves to have happiness again. Tomorrow you can face what may come with a stronger heart. I will do this for you because my love is as strong as it comes... Sleep now angel for you have a new day ahead of you... Goodnight...

I find my self screaming to the sky...

I drop to my knees almost lifeless. My fist tighten as I pound the ground with all the strength in me. I look up to the sky scream out a devastating scream. Here in this grave yard, I find all the emotional anguish tearing at my body. I let myself be engulfed by this self medicated misery. Its been two years and I still find myself here at your grave. Screaming to the sky, "WHYYYYYYYYYYYY?" But he never answer me. My thought of anger, deceit and sadness swell up in my body. Gripping at my soul like a destructive force of nature. I prayed I swear I did. I was a good person I know I was. I asked for you to be saved and take me as my only request. Yet here I am. Alone. There had to be way. I know your up there hating what I have become, but where do I go when my life was, is you... I still wake up with tears already crawling down my face because in my dreams I find the solitude of happiness I will never have with you when I awake. Your side of the bed still sit as it did the day you left. My answers may never be answered and my pain may never leave til I die, but my love will last forever and when I leave this world your legacy will be carried on with in our child. Good night my love, my heart, my wife....my...reas..on..to..bre..athe... I kiss the grass that you now sleep beneath and begin my slow walk back to my new life without you...

Despite My Flaws

Despite My Flaws
You still held strong
Despite My Mistakes
You still show'd love
Despite My Life
You still believed in us.

I was never good for commitment. I used to give amazement then replace it with resentment. You held firm in your belief that I was better below the surface. When your theory was proved wrong still you stood tall. Not willing to give up on your heart against other women you stood apart. Your heart shined even when it felt dark. Hold your title now you have proven to be the CHAMPION OF MY HEART.

Despite My Changes
You still knew
Despite My Vices
You still stayed true
Despite My Misfortune
You still supported your love

Now in this I dedicate this to the Best Woman in my life. Beauty, Brains, and a Bad Ass the only one that could be my wife. Amazingly talented woman that would never be denied. Every obstacle was just another reason to fight. You took love beyond just passion in the bed and brought it to every minute of the day. So here I stand finally holding you in my arms and together these dreams shall be ours. The world cannot stop us from becoming what we are meant to be! Champions of Life.

Despite Myself I finally see what a Real Woman is....You....

I say I miss you....but the truth is I'm jus lonely heart...

I looked beyond the light on my desk. There still in the frame was a picture of us. I loved that picture so there it sat a reminder of loved trapped in the past. I feel my heart twinkle an the sight of your smile. I say I miss you... You were the light at the end of my tunnel. I let it fade as I do all great things in my life. They say you only come across 3 true loves in your life. I can happily say you were teh first. I used to relish in your touch. Relinquish my soul to you. Then like I always do I ran from what was perfect for me to what was worst. Though I have chosen to hide myself from the world. I hope you atleast knew at one point you knew everything I was. I sit here staring beyond this light on my desk and I say I miss you.... but the truth is I'm jus lonely tonight. You were always the easy kill. I can't bring myself to call you because I would jus be using your for the moment. Your worth a lifetime not moments in life. I hope you find what I couldn't bring myself to give. May your smile bring joy to anothers world. Here I sit in my own misery......Live on....Love....Trust....Believe....you were always meant to do better then me.....

Here I sit on this bed looking down at you...

You came to me before your words of doubt or disbelief could leave your mouth. I kissed you soft sensual jus the right amount love. As our eyes closed you leaned in and kissed my chest. I've missed that simple kiss. I kiss your forehead. I look deep into your eyes and I feel the emotions rise in me. I take you in my arms as your legs wrap around me. I carry you to the bed your still wearing your summer dress. As I lay you down I kiss your neck slowly sliding my tongue along to your earlobe. The taste of you is of delightful bliss. Your body rocks in motion as my hand finds your gentle spot. I slide the strap of your dress down as i kiss your shoulders an back to your neck right beneath your chin. I continue to your clavicle then to your beautiful breasts. As my hand continues to rub you in jus the right way your body rocking in slow motion. Your moans are soft almost whispers. You watch me as you feel my breathe lingering over your nipple you feel my tongue slow suck on you and I gently nibble with jus the right amount to turn you on fire. You let a moan letting me know that is jus how you like it. I take off my pants and hike up your dress as you look at me you feel me slide into you and I feel your body soft warm tight. You scream as I begin to thrust deeper inside of you. I pull you close to my chest. You grip on to the sheets with an intense scream. Telling me more! I take you into my arms and lean you against the head board. Your hands extend and take a tight hold on to it as I thrust faster and deeper in to you! Your screaming louder as our sweaty bodies collide. Two passionate lovers expressing everything we've ever felt in these moments of Love! Your body begins to convulse as you feel me get deeper moaning faster louder harder!! You pull me to you telling me don't stop. I pound faster and faster into you harder and hitting you with even more intensity! Our bodies tense as I thrust deep penetrating you with such vigor an our bodies shake with pure bliss reaching the climax that we have both wanted! You smile as we share a few more kisses. We lay down an fall into our sleep, bodies exhausted and in some need of sleep.

Here I sit on the bed looking down at you...wondering, no knowing. As much as I want this to work. This will be the end. A night of passion and calm sleep for the first time in months. I write on a note, "Goodbye my love" slip it under a cup of coffee, leaving the note exposed. Here is where you must stay an out that door is the direction I must take....May you live love and learn...may happiness not elude you... goodbye....to a life that I am not meant to know.....